Saturday, December 20, 2003
Phantasmagoria ...
Where are you? My patience is wearing thin ... yet still I wait, I wonder how much more ...?
Today my phone fell down the toilet and as quickly I reached for it ... it still worked but I decided to rinse it with a bit of soap .. it may be ok but I guess it needs time to recuperate... as is the case with most things that go through the toilet and survive ... like the lives of a lot of Iraqis. Here I am upset that my phone got screwed up and am relatively worried about the info in the phone that I hadn't backed up ... so how many poor tortured souls did HE devastate and through his torture did he eradicate their lives without backup.
I dread how much I am able to reflect and maybe at times refract like shards of glass scattered over a playground creating a rainbow of colours ...yet sharp and painful to the touch. It’s beauty lays not in the mosaic of colours that it reflects but rather the spurts of crimson that it could spurt … from the tips of fingers and eyes as they lay sight on them … like a fire at midnight …. (Why, well it’s the witching hour) … mesmerizing till you look away and then you see it every where the flames devouring your sight ….
Where are you? My patience is wearing thin ... yet still I wait, I wonder how much more ...?
Today my phone fell down the toilet and as quickly I reached for it ... it still worked but I decided to rinse it with a bit of soap .. it may be ok but I guess it needs time to recuperate... as is the case with most things that go through the toilet and survive ... like the lives of a lot of Iraqis. Here I am upset that my phone got screwed up and am relatively worried about the info in the phone that I hadn't backed up ... so how many poor tortured souls did HE devastate and through his torture did he eradicate their lives without backup.
I dread how much I am able to reflect and maybe at times refract like shards of glass scattered over a playground creating a rainbow of colours ...yet sharp and painful to the touch. It’s beauty lays not in the mosaic of colours that it reflects but rather the spurts of crimson that it could spurt … from the tips of fingers and eyes as they lay sight on them … like a fire at midnight …. (Why, well it’s the witching hour) … mesmerizing till you look away and then you see it every where the flames devouring your sight ….
Thursday, December 18, 2003
I ache ... all over, my body is trying to expel whatever viruses or microbes are in... poor Iraq, I feel for you, imagine trying to be rid of a disease that has engulfed you for over thirty years, poor baby ...
It must be a hell of a conflict inside of you - the good cells against the bad, tryng to drum up enough strength to fight off every last diseased cell ... I guess I reflect you, how much closer we are, so much closer to each other ... like finally going to meet a lover... finally to lay my head in your palms, read it how you may ... I shall rest my head and curl up to you in my dreams feeling the wind kiss my cheeks and the fronds swaying up above playing hide and seek with the sun and my eyes. Ah Iraq.
It must be a hell of a conflict inside of you - the good cells against the bad, tryng to drum up enough strength to fight off every last diseased cell ... I guess I reflect you, how much closer we are, so much closer to each other ... like finally going to meet a lover... finally to lay my head in your palms, read it how you may ... I shall rest my head and curl up to you in my dreams feeling the wind kiss my cheeks and the fronds swaying up above playing hide and seek with the sun and my eyes. Ah Iraq.
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
I hadn't had much time for anything except events and conferences ... yet I think of you, are you reading this ... sure, I am sure you are wondering and wandering. I feel your intimate Iraqiness. I've gotta go attend a function but will definitely be back, at least I will try maybe later on tonight...
Ciao!
Ciao!
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
What is really amazing, is that never had I thirsted for my own as I have right now. let me explain, I never hung out with iraqi friends as others did ... I may even have at points avoided them...yet NOW, I am a glutton, willing to sacrifice myself for My fellow iraqi's... while I would have previously done so only for country.
Weird (apparently thats my favorite word) I have ALWAYS been a proud Iraqi, though now I am happy to be with other Iraqi's and am eager to get to know them and hunger for knowledge of their lives and days and times in the motherland, sadly I discovered that I had been the most estranged amongst Iraqi's that I've gotten to know, like I've been left out of the party...
Whose fault is it .... doesn't matter .... what matters is the reconciliation between the heart and soul.... between the land and people, between two that are forever inseperable regardless if they were Arab, Kurd, Turkomans, Armenian, Moslem (Shiite/Sunni) Christian (Catholic/Orthodox/Chaldean), Jewish (ok so we may not have Ashkenazi but what the hell - Sefardic/Ashkenazi), Sabeans, Assyrians, Yazidi's and all other religions and their subcategories that exist in this beautiful Cornucopia of individuality in such a mosaic of peoples called Iraq. You see what it comes down to is that we all come together as Iraqi's wherever we are in the world (given, the more we hang out with each other, the residues may rise ... but we truly are together no matter what ALL the FRIGGIN' Effed up ARABIC Satellite channels say (except maybe one or two). Am I a romantic? do I believe it or do I want to terribly believe it or is it mere wishfull thinking? well if it doesnt exist then I will will it!!!
Weird (apparently thats my favorite word) I have ALWAYS been a proud Iraqi, though now I am happy to be with other Iraqi's and am eager to get to know them and hunger for knowledge of their lives and days and times in the motherland, sadly I discovered that I had been the most estranged amongst Iraqi's that I've gotten to know, like I've been left out of the party...
Whose fault is it .... doesn't matter .... what matters is the reconciliation between the heart and soul.... between the land and people, between two that are forever inseperable regardless if they were Arab, Kurd, Turkomans, Armenian, Moslem (Shiite/Sunni) Christian (Catholic/Orthodox/Chaldean), Jewish (ok so we may not have Ashkenazi but what the hell - Sefardic/Ashkenazi), Sabeans, Assyrians, Yazidi's and all other religions and their subcategories that exist in this beautiful Cornucopia of individuality in such a mosaic of peoples called Iraq. You see what it comes down to is that we all come together as Iraqi's wherever we are in the world (given, the more we hang out with each other, the residues may rise ... but we truly are together no matter what ALL the FRIGGIN' Effed up ARABIC Satellite channels say (except maybe one or two). Am I a romantic? do I believe it or do I want to terribly believe it or is it mere wishfull thinking? well if it doesnt exist then I will will it!!!
Here's a big sigh of relief for all iraqi's ... Phew! I wish I had comic strip animation so that I can add a few droplets of perspiration flying of my forehead. Yes finally the big rat has been caught!
I say 'the' big rat because I had a mouse in my office which had dropped by to visit on Thursday afternoon... and they placed glue traps in my office... eeeeeeuw, nothing on Sunday and then Bang! they catch Saddam and the poor little furry creature falls into his trap too.
Now please let us make no mistakes here, I feel sorry for the mouse and have no pity for Saddam Hussein. I despise him even more everytime he's on a screen or in a paper, I despise how he and his sons have created a totally unatural conflict of emotions within me.
He is so abhorrant, vile and beyond any doubt a disgustingly cruel mind, yet to see him held captive while he is being checked for fleas and has swabs taken for his DNA, for an instant, a mere nanosecond, a whisper in time - I am just about to feel sorry for a poor disorientated old man who looks like an ancient Russian Poet or a worn out mediteraenean santa. SATAN, more likely. I remind myself of the stories I had heard, first-hand or else, the articles I've read, pictures I've seen so that I may not allow myself to feel one iota of sympathy because, naturally thats how one would feel seeing a 'supposed' fellow human being publicly treated as one would treat a diseased animal. I sincerely hope that that was not the reason the Americans showed him as such OH GOD PLEASE let him have no sympathy, not one single thought of mercy to cross anyones mind when looking at him or observing him but mostly none from those who will be dealing with him.
This is a mind that created sicker minds the likes of his sons Uday & Qusay whose postmortem pictures created the first unnatural conflict of emotions in me - violent rodents. It's a damn shame that it is not possible for them to be alive to enjoy their death - they were very much into carving people and drooling over their gore...
I say 'the' big rat because I had a mouse in my office which had dropped by to visit on Thursday afternoon... and they placed glue traps in my office... eeeeeeuw, nothing on Sunday and then Bang! they catch Saddam and the poor little furry creature falls into his trap too.
Now please let us make no mistakes here, I feel sorry for the mouse and have no pity for Saddam Hussein. I despise him even more everytime he's on a screen or in a paper, I despise how he and his sons have created a totally unatural conflict of emotions within me.
He is so abhorrant, vile and beyond any doubt a disgustingly cruel mind, yet to see him held captive while he is being checked for fleas and has swabs taken for his DNA, for an instant, a mere nanosecond, a whisper in time - I am just about to feel sorry for a poor disorientated old man who looks like an ancient Russian Poet or a worn out mediteraenean santa. SATAN, more likely. I remind myself of the stories I had heard, first-hand or else, the articles I've read, pictures I've seen so that I may not allow myself to feel one iota of sympathy because, naturally thats how one would feel seeing a 'supposed' fellow human being publicly treated as one would treat a diseased animal. I sincerely hope that that was not the reason the Americans showed him as such OH GOD PLEASE let him have no sympathy, not one single thought of mercy to cross anyones mind when looking at him or observing him but mostly none from those who will be dealing with him.
This is a mind that created sicker minds the likes of his sons Uday & Qusay whose postmortem pictures created the first unnatural conflict of emotions in me - violent rodents. It's a damn shame that it is not possible for them to be alive to enjoy their death - they were very much into carving people and drooling over their gore...
